Sunday, April 10, 2011

J is for Junk

Usually, the word 'junk' only applies to the junk I don't want to see.  You know, when a drunk friend from high school moons you toooooo much.  Or when crazy no-pants-man walks around the backstage area where you're trying to get dressed.  He's only wearing his shirt and socks, but since it's chilly, he wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.  Yet, still there is junk.

What else?  Hmmm... Okay, you're laying on a towel on the beach and your dumb-ass boyfriends friend who might be high or not (there wasn't much difference) starts to squat over your face as if he's going to pass gas. He doesn't (thank God!), but it does give a clear line of sight right up his leg.  Then there are those accidental pictures that you find when doing a Google image search for lederhosen (go ahead, do it)... Seriously, there's a lot of junk out there that I don't care to see but somehow always do.

There is nothing sexy about junk.

You may wonder what this has to do with writing romance?  Just for you I will try to make a connection.

The romance genre treats male genitalia with reverence. It is lauded with poetic euphemisms and has an almost magical quality.  It would be hilarious if a book got published where the heroine got an unwelcome view of the hero's junk and described the sweaty ball sac or his wrinkled elephant trunk.  It might ruin the illusion of the penis as a cure-all-proof-of-true-love, but man would I laugh.

So, just to share my pain, here is a pic I titled "Grandpa's Junk." To be kind, I made sure there was no actual skin involved, just a tight speedo.

Hope the other "J" posts you come across today in the A-Z Blogfest are less disturbing than the above pic.


Spanj said...

That's really quite disturbing. It is true, how the man's 'bits' are glorified, when we all know they were designed for purpose and not for any aesthetic qualities.

Kathleen said...

Erin, I knew you'd find a use for those awkward family photos!!! This post gives me a deeper understanding of that famous verse from a modern-day poet, "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?"

Sarah Mäkelä said...

LOL! That's funny and true. "Junk" is given a lot of reverence in romance. Although, I think female parts also get interesting euphemisms too. Also, I feel you on seeing more junk than needed. Ugh!

Susan Kane said...

Where did you find that one?!!
Hilarious post. I, too, have seen waaaaayyy tooooo much junk, but have never told any one about that--mainly on Italian and Spanish beaches.

Dawn Embers said...


Despite writing m/m romance/erotica stories I did not expect this when I clicked to read this blog. I was thinking junk as in "junk mail" or "junk on the bedside table." Not that "junk"... *blushes*

Erin Kane Spock said...

I'm sorry I embarrassed you. :)
If it makes you feel better, the first time I read a selection of one of your books, I had to reread it after I realized it was m/m. I'd been automatically making it a m/f in my head because that's what I was expecting.
I am toying with the idea of a historical m/m myself.

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