Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Desperatetly Seeking a Hook

I'm having problems coming up with a hook.

My current query opening line is, "
Frances Pierrepont is a real woman that women can relate to and gain hope from." Not exactly a big attention getter -- but it is honest. My query in progress opening is, "In an era where duty was everything, Frances Pierrepont, always an obedient daughter, wife, and mother, joins the glittering court of Queen Elizabeth and learns what it means to be a woman." This new attempt is thanks, in large part, to Alana Johnson.

I open up, for general discussion, a query hook brainstorms session. All of these are silly, but hey, silly might work.

Frances is a frumpy woman who gets a makeover and entrances half the court -- including her husband.

Frances doesn't like sex until she does.

Frances and Henry are examples of why teenagers shouldn't have sex.

Frances' depression turns into angry desperation, so she abandons her family, gets sexy-fied and ends up making out with her husband by accident.

Frances is the embodiment of a lot of my issues.

Frances' life is in danger because a psycho wants to hurt Henry by killing everything he loves.

An alternative title to C
ourtly Love is Doest Thou Liketh Pina Colada's?

Frances and her two friends go to Queen Elizabeth's court and wear great dresses. Of course, Frances will find love with her husband (because adultery books are against Romance genre rules) and her two friends will have spin offs. Woo-hoo!

Ya-Ya Sisterhood meets How Stella Got Her Grove Back meets the more optimistic, recently bathed, cheer-leader cousin of Elizabethan era Phillipa Gregory.

Do you have a hook that you love that has worked for you? Do you have a suggestion for me? I'm all ears.


Raquel Byrnes said...

"An alternative title to Courtly Love is Doest Thou Liketh Pina Colada's?"

You crack me up.

Hook lines are hard. I recently took part in a Hookline Blogfest and got to read a lot of really great ones.

I have to practice...The one for Bayou Blue is:

A cub reporter, bent on clearing her brother of terrorism charges, gets trapped in the bayou swamps during a hurricane with a mysterious sheriff bent on hiding the truth.

Kind of a mouthful...but its a work in progress.

Erin Kane Spock said...

I've considered using that one in my query. lol

Your hook tells the story. Although I do picture a bear cub...

Andrew Rosenberg said...

Those were funny. :)
Finding oneself swept by rain without the propriety of utilizing an umbrella?

Here's my latest attempt:
Twins separated at birth, mechanical horses, dirigibles, and secret keys to incredible powers, all served with tea and goggles. Steampunk FTW!

I'm not sure about the last part.

Erin Kane Spock said...

Sounds g2g. Although the first part sort of screamed the last bit :) I just like to see ftw used outside gaming.

Just for fun, check out

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