Monday, November 19, 2012

Yes, It is Your Fault

No, really, it is. Whatever horrible thing that just happened in your life, short of a total fluke act of nature, you had some measure of control over the outcome.

I know, that guy over there has more money than you and it's not fair. I know that your mom didn't love you enough or that the socio-economic demographic of your hometown was stacked against you. Yes, people did bad things years ago, but it's what YOU do now that matters. Be accountable. Stop pointing fingers and blaming everyone but yourself. The minute you accept responsibility for your own actions, you empower yourself to change your life.

If you are not published because editors don't understand your voice or *insert generic reason here*, blaming the editor won't solve the problem. Do you want to be published? Take the critiques, build your craft, and take the necessary steps instead of complaining about it. Be proactive, not defensive.

If you are doing poorly in school, don't blame your teacher. Too tired to pay attention? Choose more nutritious food than Flaming Hot Cheetos -- I know, you don't like vegetables, but it's a trade off. Eat well, perform well. And don't tell me you can't afford vegetables as you eat a family size bag of Cheetos and drink a Rockstar. A frozen bag of broccoli which costs $1.99 and will feed you, even if it's all you eat, for two meals. You are making the choices that impact the outcome. Didn't get enough sleep last night? That's because you played Halo 4 until your eyes bled. If you're not performing up to your potential, you've got no one to blame but yourself (except in cases of abuse -- in which case, tell me).

You are addicted to xyz? I'm sorry, overcoming addiction is hard. If it's not worth it to you to succeed  you won't do it. Blaming your genetic predisposition doesn't solve the problem, it excuses it. You think people are judging your decisions? They are.  Maybe having an addictive personality isn't your fault, but what you do about it is.

Right now I'm writing my blog, but right afterward I will do work for my day job. I could blow it off and get some writing done, but then when I'm behind and disorganized I'll have no one to blame but myself.


Unknown said...

Here Here. There comes a point when you just have to step it up and accept the challenges in life. Including doing things you don't want to like not writing *sigh*. (Though for the record I love vegetables. Cheetos are gross and make me feel sick)

Rena said...

The one I always get from my students is that they don't have enough money for their textbooks, yet they *always* have newest iPhone with all the bells and whistles.

Unknown said...

Yep, blaming others is always the easy way out.

Tanya Reimer said...

That finger pointing at me is harsh. I should put it on my screen saver to keep me motivated! lol

Erin Kane Spock said...

The finger is harsh. I flinched when I pulled up the blog today.
Yes, this blog was totally inspired by my students and their excuses and the excuses their parents make for them.
I can't do the Flamin' Hot Cheetos myself. I must have a sensitive tongue or something. :)

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