Friday, December 16, 2011

So Stupid It Should Be Illegal (Actually, it was -- but that might be too much information)

So I've got this situation that refuses to die. I wish I could pretend it didn't exist. It taints most of my social interactions and makes me angry more often than is healthy.

In all, the person I am frustrated at the most is myself. I did the right thing. Looking back I now, I wish I had been brave enough to do more, to do what needed to be done. Of course, the person that is actually at fault in this situation blames me. No good deed goes unpunished, right?

It's one of those situations where you realize that some people are just stupid. When actions have no other rational excuse other than stupidity, that must be the reason. Mix Ocam's Razor with Quacks Like a Duck theory and you end up with one answer. STUPID.

Understanding that STUPID is the reason for this person's behavior does make me feel better. I have to revise my expectations of this person. The, "I'm sorry you are upset" was translated as an apology for my actions. Why? Stupid. Action needed? For me not to care. I will decrease the importance/prioritization of this problem down to well below getting the dog to the dentist. It just doesn't matter because you can't fix stupid.

This realization has been cathartic for me. I'm not quite at Master Shi-Fu's level of inner peace, but I'm on my way.

How's your holiday going so far?


Roland D. Yeomans said...

My half-Lakota mother told me as a child that getting angry at the sun would not me cool nor would shaking my fist at the rain keep me dry.

People will be true to their natures. But I still have a hard time with that lesson. Don't feel alone, Roland

Susan Kane said...

I have had situations like that, and had to work through them. I did the right thing, but the (guilt-laden) person deflected back onto me.
Be proud of yourself--you did what you had to do.
The other person will have to deal with the guilt. It will come down on him/her like a lead weight/bag of excrement.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

I meant to also say that dysfunctional people are incapable of seeing themselves objectively. Their ego is too fragile to bear scrutiny from themselves, much less others.

They feel their inappropriate behavior normal, for they live with it all day. Like the person who can see better in a dimly-lit restaurant after a few minutes. It hasn't gotten any brighter. His eyes have just grown accustomed to the dark.

Then, there are just intellectually stunted bullies that become outraged when you call them on their unaaceptable behavior. Sometimes they are even charming enough to rally others to their side of the situation.

I will pray that this will not taint your holidays, Roland

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