Saturday, November 26, 2011

Virginity and You

I think that I should tell you that I am not a virgin. I was a virgin for years, but then I was no longer. My husband is also not a virgin. Our children are genetic proof.

I'm sorry if you're disappointed.

However, my male lead in Courtly Abandon IS a virgin. Or at least, was for about 150 pages. My female lead was not. Although my other female leads have also been non-virginal, they had had a minimal and unimpressive sexual past. My current female character was widowed young and is very earthy. She's enjoyed herself since widowhood.

What I wanted to do (and think I have done) is somewhat of a role reversal. She is a skilled lover who separated emotion from the sexual act. He is an idealist who, though not saving himself for marriage specifically, refused to resign himself to something meaningless. He'd been in love with Jane since adolescence, but never thought he could have her. Since their time together years ago, any other potential liaison seemed tawdry.

Teach Me Tonight touched on male virginity recently. They pointed out that there has been a resurgence of the male virgin. I have read some of the books they discuss and been able to accept the plausibility of the story. Sexual prowess comes from being aware of the other's needs, not just focusing on his own release. Being responsive. It is not unreasonable that a thoughtful and observant virgin might become a great lover quickly, even without the benefit of multiple conquests, time in a harem, whathaveyou.

Inserting myself into the situation, I don't think I would find the male virgin less sexy. In the world of STDs that exist today, it's hard to just accept the guy that has put his penis into countless potentially diseased women. If I fell in love with a male slut, I would demand testing and then would always wonder about his past. With a less experienced man, my insecurities would not be constantly present wondering if he's comparing me to the other women. I might take the his appreciation, his worship of my body, as honest.

Overall I am pleased with Percy's sexy-factor, even as a virgin. I have had alternating responses from my readers (prompting this blog). What are your thoughts on male virginity?


Roland D. Yeomans said...

Virginity is a ticklish subject (no pun intended) for writers. In my two Victor Standish YA urban fantasies, Alice Wentworth, a Victorian ghoul longs for closeness and passion. Victor is a street orphan who sees past her curse to the bruised heart.

And the fact that she is lovely in a Goth gruesome way doesn't hurt.

I try to play with a bit of parallelism in both of Alice's hungers and both of Victor's : one for sex, one just to be loved by a kindred spirit.

It is a challenging tight rope -- but fun. Sounds like you had fun with your characters, too. Roland

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Blogger knocked me off your Follower list. I joined back up. Would you check to see if Blogger knocked you off mine?

Susan Kane said...

I say, "Why not? Why the heck not?!" Just because he has the equipment, and all the other guys with the equipment are using theirs, why should he? Can't he be the one with the ability to think?!

Tanya Reimer said...

Apparently I'm all for it, since I do it (no pun intented) in four of my books. Lol. That moment when he falls into the arms of an experienced woman is very pleasing indeed. mmmm.

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