Tuesday, May 31, 2011

You Know You Write Historical Fiction When...

  1. You find yourself using "anon" in everyday conversation.*
  2. You have words like "bumroll" and "farthingale" added to your spell-check's dictionary.*
  3. You actually own a bumroll or farthingale.*
  4. You programed auto-correct to change all "qe" to "Queen Elizabeth." *
  5. You cannot stand perfectly good period movies because of the fabric choices.
  6. You have become more lax about food sitting out because, hey, five hundred years ago there was no refrigeration.
  7. You find yourself inserting interesting historical facts that have nothing to do with your story and feel like you are doing your readers a disservice when you delete the unrelated history lesson later.
  8. You cannot stand a perfectly good historical romance because of the fabric choices (and, in a disappointed rage, may or may not have written a strongly worded letter to the author about his/her responsibility to the reader to portray their era with accuracy).
  9. You understand why many authors do not touch on anything to do with hygiene.
  10. You think nothing is wrong with having a beer at breakfast.

Just in case you wondered what a bumroll was.
Feel free to expand upon this list.

Sidenote: This post could also be titled, "You Know You Take Renaissance Faire Too Seriously When..."

* I write Elizabethan historical romance. Please feel free to insert whatever era appropriate terminology to make this relevant to your writing.


Laura said...

*Snigger* Bumroll. Love it!
Anon dear heart!

Laura M. Campbell said...

It's funny how serious writers take their genre and craft. I'm a mystery writer and I'm doing research on serial killers and I like to point out their is a distinction between psychopath and sociopath. I also know a thing or two about finger prints and trace evidence. The things swirling around in my head could make for a frightening story.

Kathleen said...

I love #8! OK, how about these:

11.You make up all sorts of reasons about how your widowed heroine is actually a virgin.

12.You figure out plausible excuses to explain why your widowed heroine (who is not a virgin) might respond like a virgin in a love scene.

13.You suspend reality to make every virginal heroine's first time fabulous and multi-orgasmic.

Interestingly, I can only think of sexual examples. Hmmmmm.... should I be worried?

I think #9 needs this add-on: "Not only do you understand, you agree and ensure that your main characters take more baths during the course of your story than most people of their era took in their lifetimes.

mary said...

OK, how about this:

You know the years each swear word came into common use.

You insist on capitalizing "she" when it refers to the Queen.

You know more about the laws of the 16th century than the ones today.

Am I on the right track?

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