Monday, August 6, 2012

Time Went On as the Clock Does

I'm currently in a limbo status between my full time writer career (which I truly pursued this summer) and my full time teacher career. August 15th marks the start of my teacher year. That gives me two weeks to really indulge in my fuller than full time Mommy career. I am inspired both by my kid's enthusiasm for everything and by my sense of guilt for not being the uber-Mom I could be -- so crafts and parks and quality time, here I come! I don't know why the guilt is getting to me; they won't really notice my shortcomings until puberty and, by then, I could be perfect and it wouldn't matter anyway.

School starts on August 21st, both for me and my kids. We did some back to school shopping today and both girls are now reasonably comfortable in size 7, trousers are just a little long (which is fine). The big problem is that they recently moved into separate rooms, and the eldest girl is really stuck on a "mine" kick. Thing is, they're both the same size. Other than shoes, most clothes have been community property. The younger one doesn't really care, but the older makes up for that in spades. I don't think I've ever looked forward to the start of a new school year before.

This limbo status has left me feeling purposeless and tired. I think it's because of the agents actually WANTED to see my stuff and they've got it. Now I just have to be patient and await their responses. This, I think, has left me in a holding pattern of waiting for time to pass. It reminds me of when I was laid up with my broken foot and just laying there, healing. It's insane. I don't do patience well. The solution, of course, is to get engrossed in whatever I am doing -- but I can't seem to. The sword of Damocles is looming and eventually I will get the email that changes everything (or not).

So, what should I do? I should write. Karma has been neglected for too long and her story is just itching to get out. I just need to be in a positive enough mind frame to make that happen.


Rena said...

Always write. I always go through a tharn period where I'm the deer caught in the headlights of having sent an agent work. Luckily, they usually take so long to respond that I manage to kick myself out of the waiting period.

So yeah, I know it's hard, but write. It will help.

Raquel Byrnes said...

Write Karma!!! Do it!

Erin Kane Spock said...

I wish I could just stop thinking about the possible responses. Obsess much?
Don't worry, I'm writing. Philippe is relieved that Karma believes that it was supernatural and not him being alpha pseudo-rapist. This book really wants to be written.

Susan Kane said...

We tend to overthink, over analyze stuff. Put your foot in the water or dive in? I say, for you, DIVE IN!

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